Story
Hey, whoever’s reading this. I don’t really know how to start, but I guess introductions are a good place. I’m 15, nonbinary, and in my third year of high school. Baseball used to be my escape, and my friends used to be my safe space, but lately, nothing feels like enough.
My parents fight, a lot. And not the “normal” kind where people argue and then cool off. No, they fight like they’re trying to tear each other apart. Screaming, slamming doors, muttered insults that linger even after the yelling stops. It’s been like this for years, but somehow, it’s worse now.
I have exams coming up, important ones, but I can’t concentrate. Every time I try to study, my brain just replays the arguments, the words they use against each other, the tension in the air even when they’re silent. Baseball? I can barely keep my head in the game. Hanging out with my friends? It’s like I’m only half there, nodding and smiling when I should, but not really feeling any of it. It’s all clouded by this weight I can’t shake.
I know their fights aren’t my fault. People have told me that. But knowing something and feeling it are two different things. The worst part is that I don’t know what to do with all this. I don’t know how to make it stop, and I don’t know how to stop it from pulling me under.
So I guess that’s why I’m writing this. I need help. I need advice. How do I keep my parents’ problems from ruining everything else? How do I stop caring so much when I can’t change anything? How do I find something that actually lets me escape, even just for a little while?
Advise from us
Hey there, first of all, thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about something so deeply personal. We want you to know that you are not alone in this, and we hear you.
Living in a home filled with constant conflict can be overwhelming, especially when you feel powerless to change it. While we can’t magically make things easier, we do have some suggestions that might help you regain some control over your thoughts and emotions.
Since baseball and friends aren’t helping as much right now, maybe try something new. Music, journaling, or even guided meditation can help clear your mind when things get overwhelming. Finding a small hobby that’s just for you—art, writing, a game—could also give you a temporary break from the stress.
A school counselor, a coach, a teacher, or even a close friend—someone who can listen and support you. You don’t have to go through this alone. If speaking in person feels too hard, even writing in a journal or online forum can help you process your feelings.
We know it’s impossible to completely block out what’s happening at home, but finding a “safe zone” can help. Maybe studying at the library, staying after school for baseball practice, or even spending time at a friend’s house can give you space to breathe.
When your thoughts start spiraling, try grounding exercises. Focusing on something physical—holding a cold object, listening to a specific song, naming five things you can see—can help you feel more present and in control.
You already know their problems aren’t your fault, but try to remind yourself that they are responsible for their own conflicts. You are not their mediator, and you are not responsible for fixing them. Your priority should be your well-being.
You are doing the best you can in an incredibly tough situation, and that is enough. Keep reaching out, and know that there are people who care about you and want to help. If you ever need to talk more, we are here.
We wish you all the best, you can do this!
